So I went to the doctor today for my post op and the diagnosis was “Fibroadenoma and fibrocystic changes with papillary intraductal epithelial hyperplasia.”

Make any sense to you?  Yeah, me either.  He said the hyperplasia part is the bad part.  It means I have an increased risk of breast cancer.  The cyst itself was benign.  But the doctor wants me to get a mamogram every year from now on.  Here is some definitions that I found:

What Are Fibroadenomas?:

Fibroadenomas are one of the findings that can be seen on your mammogram. They are benign (not cancerous) breast tumors that are made of glandular and fibrous breast tissue. Fibroadenomas can occur alone, in groups or as a complex. If you have multiple or complex fibroadenomas, this may raise your risk of breast cancer slightly.

Fibrocystic Changes – The Most Common Benign Breast Condition:

Fibrocystic change involves lobes, ducts (glandular) and connective (stromal) breast tissue. Women of all ages can be affected by fibrocystic change, but it shows up most frequently in premenopausal women (ages 20 to 50). You’re most likely to notice fibrocystic changes during your fertile years, when your hormones are cycling regularly. Fibrocystic changes can be felt in any area of your breast and may occur in one or both breasts.

Hyperplasia Definition: Hyperplasia occurs when cells within an organ or tissue grow larger and faster than expected. Hyperplastic breast tumors are benign (not cancerous).

This is the Letter and Picture that went out with our Christmas Cards.  If you didn’t get one, I am sorry.  I sent one out to all the addresses I had.  So if you missed it, here it is!

Hello!                                                                                                                                           Dec. 14, 2008

Is it the end of the year already?  Another year come and gone.  This year was a very busy year for Jamie and I! Our first big news of the year was ..Shiloh.. being on a Michigan Scratch Off Lottery Ticket.  She was featured on the $1 Lucky Dog ticket, along with 9 other dogs.  I entered her in a photo contest, and she actually won.  There were over 2000 dogs that were entered into the contest.  We didn’t really get anything for it, but she got to be on the Front Page of the Alpena News, and she was on TV a few times, and there was a small write up in the Detroit News…..

In January we bought a new Jeep.  A 2004, Jeep Grand Cherokee with only 34,000 miles on it.  We love it!  It has a V8 in it so it pulls our Pop-Up camper quite well.  On Memorial Weekend we took our first camping trip with it.  We headed up to Pictured Rocks to camp out for the weekend.  We actually camped at the Munising City Campground, and we had a lake view lot!  We took Rebecca and our two dogs.  It was ….Shelby….’s first real camping trip, and she did really well!  With the price of gas being so high this year, we only had the one camping trip…..

               On August 8^th, ….Shelby…. turned 1 year old!  She is getting really big!  And her color has changed so much!  She is about 48 pounds now.  We aren’t sure if she will get a whole lot bigger.  She sure is a mischievous dog!  But we love her! ..Shiloh.. turned 7 years old on Nov 8^th.  She is such a Lucky Dog!….

               On Friday, August 8^th we entered my Grandpa’s 1970 Chevy Malibu into the Ramblin Rods Car show.  They have it every year in Alpena, and it’s a two day show.  The first night is Big Boy cruise night.  All the cars park at Big Boy Restaurant and people come and look at them, and then at about ..9pm.. the cars parade through Alpena.  It’s a lot of fun.  They give out one trophy that night for best car overall, and WE WON!  It was so cool.  On Saturday, we parked with over 100 cars for the show.  My Dad, Rebecca, and I sat for the whole day.  It rained on and off all day, but we still had fun, and we won another trophy! We took 2^nd place in our class! A few weeks after this, Casey took the Car to the Lincoln Car show, and brought home another 1^st place Trophy!….

               On Sunday, August 9^th, my Grandfather, Carl Jarema, passed away.  He was surrounded by all of his children.  He did get to see the trophy’s that his car won before he passed away.  Dad said they made him smile. ….

               Since we were feeling Lucky about our Dogs, I decided to enter another contest.  This time it was a video contest.  Jamie and I made a video of Shelby and I biking together.  She runs along side me on my bike with a special device called a Springer.  The video was only 1 minute long, and we were up against quite a few others.  Our video took first place and we won a Bissell Pet Hair Eraser Vacuum!  I love it!  So now we have two winning dogs!….

               On the 18^th of September, there was a rumor going around that the Stanley Cup was going to make a short appearance at the Fletcher Street Brewery in Alpena.  We decided to go check it out, and it was actually there!  We got our picture taken with it and we even got to touch it!  Let’s Go Red Wings!….

               October was a fun filled month!  We volunteered at the ….Besser.. ..Museum…. for Fall Harvest Days, and for the 1^st Annual Pumpkin Walk.  We also made it in the Alpena News.  We had the entire page of the lifestyles section written up on what we do for Halloween.  That was published the Saturday before Halloween.  On Halloween Night was pulled off 54 pumpkins (with help from Family and Friends, THANKS SO MUCH!), and we had hundreds of people show up!  At least 300 people came to see our pumpkins!  It was a great Halloween!!….

               We went to our first  Campaign Party this year.  Ed Black, who ran for prosecutor in ….Alpena.. ..County…., invited us to his party.  Jamie carved him into a pumpkin on Halloween!  He won by over 1,800 votes (Out of about 14,000).  Hopefully knowing some of these people will help me out next time I want to run for City Council!….

               I guess that is about it.  Oh I almost forgot, my mom is having her knee replaced on January 19^th.  So we will be without her for a while at the deli.  We are hoping for a speedy recovery for her.  ….

               That’s about it!  We hope you have a very Merry Christmas, and a wonderful and prosperous New Year!  Stop and see us anytime!  Swing into the Deli, or just stop by the house!  We love you!….

.. ..

Love,  Jessica, Jamie, ..Shiloh.. and ….Shelby….….

Pictures of the Pumpkins! www.PumpkinPersonalities.com  ….
Videos of our dogs, the pumpkins, and other stuff www.Youtube.com/thekittykat79 ….

Find us on MySpace! www.myspace.com/thekittykat1979….

So today at 8am I went in for the first surgery of my life.  I was scared, but my husband, my mom, and my mother in law all came to wait with me in the waiting room.  My entire family and all of my friends have been a huge suppor through all of this.

The surgery lasted a bit over an hour and everything went fine.  I have to be off of work for 3 days, which sucks.  I already miss working, but I can’t really move my right arm to much.  It’s taking me forever to type all this cause my arm hurts. 

Anyway, the doctor said that what he removed didn’t “look” like cancer, but they were sending it out for a biopsy. 

So yeah, no insurance, and I am sure we just racked up a nice bill at the hospital.  I did apply to get on the slidding fee scheulde thing, so hopefully that will bring our costs down some.

So, if you are wondering why I have been missing.  I have had a lot on my mind.  Right now I have slept all day and I can’t fall back asleep so I figured I would come type to you all and then go lay back down.

Just thought you might want to know.

I put up 4 new videos of my dogs yesterday on my YouTube, Facebook, and Myspace accounts.  So I figured I would post them on here also! 

Shiloh and Shelby in The Snow!  They were having such a good time!

Shelby Playing in the Snow!

And one of Shiloh playing with her Food Bowl

Shelby Playing with a Stick

On the 25th of November, I went in for my annual exam as usual.  The doctor found a lump on my right breast.  Since it wasn’t small, and it was kinda big, she refered me to another doctor to find out if it was just a cyst, or a mass, or what.

So on Tuesday Dec 2nd, I went to see Dr. Puls.  He found the same thing (Surprise, it didn’t magically go away).  Supposedly they were going to do an ultra sound or a mamogram, but instead he decided to shove a needle in it and try to drain it (it hurt so bad). Nothing came out. So that confirmed what we were already pretty sure of, it’s a hard mass, not a mushy one.

So now, I have to have it removed. My Surgery is scheulded for December 18th.  I dont’ have a time yet.They are going to cut me open, and take it out. And I am so scared it isn’t even funny. They will test it to see if it is canerous or not.  Sucky thing is, we don’t have insurance.  Since we aren’t popping out kids we can’t afford, we don’t qualify for half the plans available out there.  Figures huh.  And I am not old enough to get on some of the other plans available.  We make only $2,000 a year over the limit to qualify for other plans. And since we own a house and dont’ rent, supposedly we have money!  HA.  What a crock of shit.

So I am going in to talk with the hospital about payment plans and such for the surgery.  I have NO idea what the cost will be, but it will get paid for.  We don’t have excellent credit for nothing! 

Oh, and I am still getting my damn new kitchen for Christmas! 

So there, now you know what’s going on.  I am kinda freaked out.

Well I have good News, and I have Bad News.

Friday Night we entered my Grandpa’s car into the Big Boy Cruise Night Car Show.  There was about 50 Cars that entered.  His car is a 1970 Chevy Malibu, that well here.  Just read this story that we put in the window of the car.

[quote]The Story of Great Grandma’s Car

In 1970 Walter Jarema took his wife Cecila to purchase a new car. Walter, who was an employee of Chrysler for over 43 years, told her she could pick any car she wanted. This was her very first brand new car.
The car she choose is the one you see before you. A 1970 Chevy Malibu, 307. She drove the car until 1986, when she gave up her driver’s license. She passed the car to her son, Carl Jarema, Engineer for the Detroit Fire Department. He cared for the car ever since, with the help of his son-in-law, and his grandchildren, John Carl, and Rebecca Lawrence.
The car was primarily driven to and from church by Great Grandma. She lived in Southwest Detroit. Grandpa primarily drove the car on Golf outings with his brother, Ed Jarema.
The car has 53,000 Original Miles and is original as factory show room. Show room exhaust, show room engine, show room paint, show room radio, no modifications, with the exception of a HEI ignition system (because points are hard to find!). Other then that, the car is a Factory Show Room Car.[/quote]

So that is the story behind the car.  It was the first real show we ever entered.  And Guess what, we took home the Trophy!  The managers at Big Boy all had to vote on a car, and they picked our car!

So Saturday was the continuation of the car show, but it was held by the Ramblin Rods Car Club.  Over 107 cars registered for the show.  They were all broken down into classes and such.  Our car was in Class F, Original or Restored 1970 or Newer. 

We were not expecting to have our name called becuase there were alot of cars in the same class as us.  When they started calling trophies for our class, we were SHOCKED when they gave us 2nd place!  WHOO HOO!

That is my dad and my youngest sister in the picture holding the two trophies. 

I don’t think anyone knew how much this meant to us.  You see, my grandpa, the current owner of the car, had not been doing really well.  He has a blood disease where he no longer produces white blood cells, so he has been getting transfusions.  Well, he got an infection in his foot a few weeks ago, and they had to amputate the front part of his foot, but they were to late.  The infection had already spread.

Since his body can’t produce white blood cells, the antibiotics have nothing to attach to, and the infection couldn’t be fought off fast enough.  So they asked him if he wanted to stay in the hospital, or go home, and he wanted to go home.

Friday Night my dad got to show him the trophy, and he still knew what was going on, and they said he smiled so big.  Saturday they said they showed him the other trophy and he smiled again.  So he got to see them both, and he was happy.

This morning about about 11am, he passed away, at home, surrounded by his three daughters, and his son-in-law.  He went in his sleep. 

Sorry if I am rambling, but I needed to talk a bit, and thought you guys would like to hear the Good and Bad News of my weekend.
Thanks for listening everyone.

So Jamie’s birthday was yesterday, Happy Birthday Jamie!  Mom’s birthday is today, Happy Birthday Mom!

My Grandpa is still in the hospital.  They amputated the front part of his foot last week.  He is now in the rehab portion of the hospital, but he seems to be doing okay.  He is really tired.  I know he really wants to just go home, but they won’t let him until he learns to walk again.

Summer has been fun for the most part.  We have been spending a lot more time out of the house then we have in the past.  I think that is partially because we have some good friends who are fun to do stuff with! 

We still don’t talk to Greg, we both feel bad for him, and wish that he would grow up and face reality, but he is having more fun ignoring his responsibilities and playing video games.  One day he will regret his actions.

I just ordered a sweet Bike Trailer for Shiloh.  Shelby and I love to bike with the Springer, but Shiloh won’t go to far.  So I bought her a special dog trailer so she can still be with us, and not have to run!  Isn’t that great!

Anyway, that’s all for now!

Will I make it through tomorrow
Will I make it through the night
Will I survive all the sorrow
My thoughts are full of fright

Will my Mom be okay
Will my Grandpa live much longer
I know things that cause you pain
Can only make you stronger

I’m tired of being tired
I’m sick of feeling blue
I’m tired of all the worries
I’m wanting something new

A way to ease the stress
A way to calm my brain
A way to stop my thoughts
From causing all this strain

I know things will work out
And things will be alright
I know I will make it through this
And live through another night

The Exhibit is wonderful.  He has a collection of taxidermy Fish that are all native to Michigan hanging all over the walls (donated by Limited edition taxidermy), and then he has an old fishing ice shanty, many old wooden lures, and reels, and all kinds of cool stuff.  He also shared some stories of fishing with his dad, and his brothers. 

The Exhibit is wonderful.  Randy did a WONDERFUL job on it.  Well, tonight was the reception for the opening of the exhibit.  They ordered a Large Fruit tray from our deli.  Since we are such good friends, we knew we had to throw in something extra special for him.

So I emailed Ryan, and he saved me by sending me the fish pattern I needed to be able to carve a watermelon for the event.  My husband also carved a fish and a seahorse out of the bottom peice of the watermelon that I cut off as the opening!

It turned out great!  We were just thrilled!  And so was everyone at the reception.  It was great fun!  I just wanted to again say, Ryan you are the BEST!!!  Thanks so much! 

Sea Horse

The Fish

The Display

All together Now

Another Shot

Items Jamie loaned to the Museum

These items in particular belong to my husband! He loaned them to the museum for the display!

Why do people do things to hurt the people they love?  Why do they do it thinking they won’t get caught?  Then when they do instead of apologizing, or trying to do something to make the other feel better, they sit there. 

Why do people have conversations asking others to change, but they won’t bother to change anything themselves?  Maybe those people need to look at how they haven’t changed and realize their own behavior is partial to blame for the pain that the other is going threw.

Relationships are all about trust, and when trust is broken, feelings break down.  The feelings you want to be experiencing get pushed aside and the feelings of sadness, forgotten, and other hurtful feelings come forward, and then that is all the can be focused on.

Don’t ask me to try harder, if you wont’ even bother.  Don’t ask me to do something differently, if you are still going to do the same sick things you always do.